Heh-Hem

"You ought to get yourself a nice girl so she can do that."

The words of my neighbor and friend Jack this morning as he found me sewing a tear in my sweatshirt. A perfect morning to sit and bask in the morning sun. On Saturdays and Sundays I don't have to start work until about 10:00-11:00am so I made the most of an early morning today. I was up at seven and on the front by 8:30 to enjoy a quiet morning or sewing my tares and reading while the budding spring farm awoke around me.

The morning work consisted of herding sheep and cleaning the dags from their bottoms.
Dag - a clump of dung stuck to the wool of a sheep. After Dag patrolling I spent the day landscaping a new flowerbed area underneath one of the shelter belts on the farm. A full day of work and rewarding to say the least. But they days pile like the dung into dags.

And that was last Saturday. On to this Thursday and the days between.

Some will fall back soon, but this week down under we sprang ahead. And like some sort of crowning achievement setting the clock ahead an hour started the next day with a brilliant display of Spring enthusiasm. A warm filled morning eased into bright blue skies and a bright concluding sunset at 7:30 pm!

Along with this change of season and time came the change of pace. A new week along with another continual opportunity in life to start fresh. I guess something in the week shook off the last bit of lethargy of winter. And that was withing another week.

Regardless of the dates that at times seem necessary, the days move. And from here on out is a listing of events in the past two weeks. Heh-Hem...

Three new piggies, 4 days of sunshine followed by 3 days of clouds/off and on rain, and then an additional 12 and counting of sunshine filled days, the finishing of a book and the starting of a new, a few earth quakes here and there, started working a new job a few days a week and better part it pays, one sad farm dog with an infection in her foot (I don't think a toddler could pout as good as she does), arrival of the first courgette of the year!, an evening with a live performance of Cirque du Soleil Mother Africa, finished my 28th consecutive day of Yoga (30 and counting now), opening weekend of the Ron Mueck exhibit in Christchurch, much needed skype catch up with two dear friends in Philadelphia, started reading two National Geographics a week (go ahead try me on my topics), started running 10km a day and 5 days a week not to mention(actually at the point of the run being a highlight of my day.), excellent weekend spent with a friend from my travels, countless afternoons evenings days mornings and nights of laughter, scored an awesome find of a concretion from the beach (in the process of drilling it down to find the fossil it contains, partaked in herding 1000 sheep with dogs, had my hand at sheering, sorted and picked through wool, a crazy day with a friends car overheating, fresh venison, 50kgs of free asparagus, transplanted corn, potted out 400+ various plants to sell at the soon approaching farmers market, attacked three times by Magpies two of which are now dead, started re-landscaping the back yard of the house, was put in charge of designing the veranda to be built out back (any input or ideas would help), 7 new baby chicks only to loose two now making 5, started trying my hand at woodwork, bought my 6th tooth brush of my travels, Officially have a great looking Welly Tan, Spring is in, never been so happy, remembered I came to New Zealand to smile and I am doing just that.

All that you touch
All that you see
All that you taste
All you feel
All that you love
All that you hate
All you distrust
All you save
All that you give
All that you deal
All that you buy
Beg, borrow or steal
All you create
All you destroy
All that you do
All that you say
All that you eat
Everyone you meet
All that you slight
Everyone you fight
All that is now
All that is gone
All that's to come
And everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.
There is no dark side of the moon really.
Matter of fact it's all dark.

Pink Floyd
Eclipse

Another Friday has passed and with it another Saturday arrives. Last Saturday evening was spent in the Waipara Memorial Hall watching the stage performance of "The Best Little Whore House in Texas". I am still smiling form the experience. Back home such a performance would be skipped over or possibly noted with slim attendance, however in the boondoos of New Zealand the show was Sold Out form Opening night of Tuesday to the Performance Wrap on Saturday with two shows on Friday and Saturday included. The attire was New Zealand Nice. Wellys left at the door, hair combed, Button up finest flannel, and dusted off sport coat. As we took our seats William asked me what I thought of the Waipara "talent"? The best dressed hens of Waipara ranging form 45 and up. I still couldn't help but smile at the collection of mismatching chairs and bleachers filled with honest folks out to enjoy themselves on a Saturday Night Out. The play one the other hand was a hoot and a holler. Singing, dancing, Cussing like you wouldn't believe, and a scene filled with nudity. I laughed and cheered along side life long Kiwi farmers in a ritual of community theater and NZ decadence. The night concluded with a walk home under a bright encore performance of the Milky Way far above. I went to bed that night with a smile, a smile I still find here with me 6 days later and one more Saturday to pass.

The week was a busy one. The weather shifted like the tides but underneath it the promising signs of Spring growth are shining through. Bud burst is now giving way to emerging foliage. Daffodils are blooming fully and Tulips are soon to arrive. Spring has sprung.

I take the dogs down to the river for about four hours of Rabbit hunting each day. Some days we are spoiled with multiple rabbits others I wonder why we even started digging in the first place. But every day we head off I am reminded why I enjoy doing it. I have never had a dog of my own and this seems to be the closest I have ever got. About 15 minutes after I finish lunch I am greeted by one of them, some times both, with longing eyes and often a big sigh as if to be releasing the final bits of their patience. All it takes is me putting on my regular brown long sleeve shirt and with that the tails wag without control from tail tip to ears and the yips and yelps start. Once we get down to the river I just forget everything. I love watching those two run around sniffing out every scent they can find, barking at and to one another, as I watch and patiently await for when they bark to me that they have found a Rabbit. I walk and think, and more times than not I don't. I just take in the river bed I have come to know. I breath and observe. A part of this has become some what of a sanctuary for me. Sometimes I see it that I am out being active so I wont have time for thinking about home and for feeling lonely. Yet to think of that I realize I hardly do any more. I guess what I like the most about my afternoons with the dogs is the time I have on my own in the fashion I choose. I remember a conversation and resolution I came to with a friend before I left for NZ. I discussed with her how I felt with some circumstances in my life I was pushed to grow up faster than other kids and that I look forward to going to New Zealand, for when I got there I could just... Play. And that is how I see it along the river. I am playing. I dig in the dirt, I find all sorts of alive and dead critters, I get cut and dirty, often I get caught by rain clouds I didn't see coming. I wish I could have a picture of what is a common sight that can be seen when I am down at that river bed. My head in a rabbit hole rump in the air and both dogs the same. At 24 I know I am still a kid at heart and thus I plan to be for another 24.

All you folks think you own my life
But you never made any sacrifice
Demons they are on my trail
I'm standing at the crossroads of the hell
I look to the left I look to the right
There're hands that grab me on every side

All you folks think I got my price
At which I'll sell all that is mine
You think money rules when all else fails
Go sell your soul and keep your shell
I'm trying to protect what I keep inside
All the reasons why I live my life

Some say the devil be a mystical thing
I say the devil he a walking man
He a fool he a liar conjurer and a thief
He try to tell you what you want
Try to tell you what you need

Standing at the point
The road it cross you down
What is at your back
Which way do you turn
Who will come to find you first
Your devils or your gods

All you folks think you run my life
Say I should be willing to comprimise
I say all you demons go back to hell
I'll save my soul save myself

Crossroads
Tracy Chapman

Life is in the breath.

Well I took the plunge into Yoga. I have completed my 5th day of practice and I can already tell I am Hooked. I had been wanted to start Yoga for years. And anyone who has spent a fare about of time around me can speak for the amount of stretching and relatively limber lounging positions I tend to place myself in. So far so great!

I can see this becoming my drug of choice. I now am looking to the people I know who are avid enthusiasts of Yoga with new eyes. They had all pushed me and suggested I give it a try. The way my body feels as of right now I am ashamed I waited so long.

I enjoy the philosophy behind Yoga. Yoga is concerned with the health and beauty of the body as a whole. Emphasis on unity. Over time the body becomes "disjointed". Meaning, the body, emotions, mind, and spirit all pull in separate directions. Each demanding the fulfillment of its own needs and desires. This causes stress and ware and prevents the individual of functioning as an "integrated whole". Thus the practice of "Yoga" to attain unity/balance in self-development. Yoga, a Sanskrit word meaning "union" or "joining together".

Bliss!

The other aspect of Yoga I am enjoying is the consciously aware state focused on breathing.

"Life is in the breath; therefore he who only half breaths, half lives."
- Yoga Proverb

I like this thought. The body can go weeks without food, days without sleep and water, yet only minutes without air. Our sustenance comes from our breath. Our focus and understanding of this life giving interaction is the simplest necessity.

Feeling good form my head to my feet. I am off to a play with Sarah and William. We are going to watch the stage performance of "The Best Little Whore House in Texas". I am rather excited to hear some Kiwi accents mimic Texas chatter. Also looking forward to the acting quality!

We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment,
We are Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...
This holy reality, this holy experience. Choosing to be here in...

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal all this pain is an illusion.

Alive

This holy reality, in this holy experience. Choosing to be here in...

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal all this pain is an illusion...
Of what it means to be alive

Swirling round with this familiar parable.
Spinning, weaving round each new experience.
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this
chance to be alive and breathing
chance to be alive and breathing.

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment. Remember. we are eternal.
all this pain is an illusion.

Parabola
Tool

Truest Grit

I am sitting with a full belly. I believe that is an understatement but I am unsure how to describe the fullness I feel. Made a great lasagna tonight, homemade pasta and all. I guess with the way I feel I ate a little too much. Being a Wednesday the movie choice for the evening is Western. Wednesday Westerns. Nothing better than a weekly routine involving the viewing a a classic Western once a week. Tonight's is a classic indeed, one of my favorites True Grit. I have seen this film at the least a half dozen times and I will try my best to stay awake for a seventh viewing however a full stomach makes one tired.

I got quite a delight this afternoon when I found a small little egg about in inch in height lying next to one of the wood piles. Based on the size it could have only belonged to our only teenage Hen at the farm. I couldn't help but laugh about the size as well where she laid it. Little thing must have been confused as to what in the hell was going on. Not much of an egg and certainly wouldn't make an omelet. In other chicken news. Today was the first day our five newest chicks were taken around the farm by their mother. After about a month and a half in the coop they are finally out and about. The group of em are rather rag-tag in appearance, Three black and two gold. By the looks of it too there is one rooster in the bunch. They are in the intermediate stage right before they loose their baby feathers and chirp around growing in the new feathers that will take them into their teenage years. Cute none the less.

Tomorrow starts with a morning of work and then down to Pegasus Bay Winery with my Host mother Sarah for a wine tasting and talk with the owners about employment for me. I have already lined up an interview in a few weeks for a serving position at their restaurant. But I am mostly interested in landing a spot as a prep-cook. I would like very little responsibility and interaction. Either way I'll take what I can get....

"Mr. Rat, I have a writ here says you're to stop eating Chin Lee's cornmeal forthwith. Now it's a rat writ, writ for a rat, and this is lawful service of the same. See, doesn't pay any attention to me." ---- Rooster Cogburn

All you got to is...

And just like that college football is underway. I gotta say I was very pleased to watch BSU on TV in New Zealand. Never thought I would see the day of watching the team I have grown up with on TV 12,000 miles away. I remember it being difficult to catch a Bronco game in Los Angeles as well Boise. Made my day to say the least, well the victory was definitely the icing on the cake. I had put a lot of anticipation around the game. Not completely over the game itself rather the game became somewhat of a way point. I guess I had been looking at it as a point in my travels to get to. I chose to stay longer in NZ and doing so I would be watching the game here. I guess with the game coming and going just like the past six months I am becoming all the more aware of the time that will soon pass once again.

The past five days have been exciting with the quakes (up to 100 plus now) and the topic of discussion is very much still in the spotlight. However the days have been a little waring on the brain. Haven't had a full nights sleep since the big one. A few times a night I awake to my bed shaking and a rumbling sound. It's kinda funny, I look forward to the fault settling in and the earth to find its calm. However with that one is left with the "what next" feeling that is accustomed to anything significant the stirs the ordinary passing of days. When an event comes along and knocks you out of your living rhythm at times you feel eager to get back in sync and then again you want to stay in the lime light of attention. I wonder how long the attention will stay. Christchurch is a mess, a city that has a huge task to rebuild at hand and while this gets underway the looming idea/talk of another big quake is still swirling. I guess the scientists believe the earth aint done yet. How they can tell this is beyond me. I feel it is a load of shit attempting to make an educated guesstimation and hit it on the head if and or when it does happen if ever. I think they don't want it to be over either. And with the way the earth has been belching out quakes, tremors, vibrations, and topics of conversation I guess this second big quake just might be coming.

Now a week into September and my latest way point passed Spring is moving forward nicely. I am in a nice lull at the moment of this day to the first weekend in November. The first weekend is the finally of show week in NZ or in other words the final turn of the weather for the good. However the next 6-7 weeks will still be busy. I have been doing loads of planting. We are in the as my host mother Sarah puts it the "popcorn phase". The best way to explain this is with a 60 tray of tomato seeds. So in this tray you have 60 slots where one single Tomato seed was planted by yours truly some 30- 60 days ago. Well they have out grown their try and are now ready to be transplanted to a larger pot. So now instead of having 60 Tomato plants in one convenient tray you now have 60 Tomato plants in their individual pots. Now do this with some seventy 60 trays and you have a lot of potting, planting and work at hand not to forget the space to house all of these plants.And so as the weeks progress as does the number of happy healthy plants to go into the ground. The greenhouses and tunnel house are nearly full with eager to grow veggies and the wait is on....

With this wait, a few quakes I am sure, warming days of work in the rising ever higher sun, afternoons of reading, writing, baking, playing, and my newest pick up Yoga. I am on a 28 day Yoga regiment and day one was relaxing and off to a good start. My mid afternoons have a nice step to them. Meditate, Yoga, Work out, and Read. Cant complain life is good.

Books I have read since March 2nd.

The shack
Shantaram
The Dharma Bums
Possum Living
Life of Pi

Currently Reading

Three Against the Wilderness by, Eric Collier
The Greatest Show on Earth by, Richard Dawkins



Delia, oh, Delia Delia all my life
If I hadn't have shot poor
Delia I'd have had her for my wife
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

I went up to Memphis
And I met Delia there Found her in her parlor
And I tied to her chair
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

She was low down and trifling
And she was cold and mean
Kind of evil make me want to Grab my sub machine
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

First time I shot her I shot her in the side
Hard to watch her suffer
But with the second shot she died
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

But jailer, oh, jailer Jailer,
I can't sleep 'Cause all around my bedside
I hear the patter of Delia's feet
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

So if you woman's devilish
You can let her run
Or you can bring her down and do her
Like Delia got done
Delia's gone, one more round Delia's gone

Delia's Gone By, Johnny Cash

4:30 7.1

Shake. Rattle. Roll. I guess that is how it went. How ever it goes it all started at 4:30am September 4th 2010. Golly Did it ever start. I have been in earthquakes before but in comparison they were nothing to what rolled through Canterbury this morning. I awoke to what I couldn't comprehend. It was pitch black in my room except for the white ceiling that was illuminated by the moon through my window. It is a very weird feeling being shaken everywhere without any thing to focus on. No horizon, no perception, nothing. Just black all around and vague whiteness above. Back and forth side to side accompanied with crashing sounds and the moaning of stressed timber. With nothing to see I seemed to look up. As I looked up to what I thought would seem concrete I found only doubt. Above me was an attic filled with who knows what, but this morning what ever was above me marched to the position the earth intended it to. I remember hoping that the roof wouldn't cave. With black all around, white above, shaking back and forth to and fro, the stressing moaning and eerie creaking of timber filling all around and the crashing of everything everywhere colliding into my ears I didn't have a clue what to think or do. I just remember looking up and realizing what was happening....

We all emerged from our rooms. We adorned what we wore to bed and still carried the interrupted sleep under our eyes. We were all giddy and somewhat childish as we stared across to one another and awed at what shook us form our slumber. We shifted and sorted through what items, books, and trinkets found new homes. The floors were now library's, pantry floors now produce isles, and bedrooms looked to belong to your average collage student. A mess to be sorted, as well our thoughts for the next hour and with out a doubt next few days. As we collected so did the aftershocks. Varying in size and power, none of us were silent nor was the house.

After it was mostly calmed I went back to sleep. I laid there in my bed staring at the white ceiling that I came to question earlier. I stared and felt my bed wiggle every now and then. I could hear a rumble and then a shift of the house. I laid there and stared. White. I remember laying there and feeling something come over me. Something I have never felt in my life. Honestly a new feeling and a very strange and uncomfortable feeling. For then and there I felt it.

Never in my life have I ever felt so far away from home.

Dog Day Afternoon

It was possibly the longest afternoon I have had in a while. We sat together sharing space on the couch of the front porch. Together we sulked in our complacent hush. Staring of into the warm light of this spring filled farm all we could do was bicker. Silence was our complaint. The afternoon was perfect like the several before it however we sat on that couch with only the breeze to speak. I would mutter and she would glance, but we dared not make a sound. Twice we shifted and once again, if only it was different. Just one day before we were moving through time and sharing with one another. But today we were stuck on that couch. That damn couch. If only we could move together. If only we both knew what the other was thinking. In a way we did. We both knew that there was nothing that could be done. Circumstances be what they may but they put us then and there. There being that damn couch and then being the longest afternoon I had seen in what was now becoming forever. I wish I could rewind. I wish I could change what happened. For her. For me. But I cant and together we sat. We sulk, we sit, we contemplate what could have been...

Last night

At one point this was to be my last night in New Zealand. The evening where I would have had may last dinner and beer in the inviting and very hospitable country that has become my make shift residence. The evening where I would try to collect my thoughts in some glorious fashion. Where I would recollect on the adventure, the memories, and the countless new faces transitioned into friends. The last evening to bask in accomplishment and bathe in the essence of return. So with the recognition of all that I raise my Speights and say Cheers. Here's to another six months and every month that accumulates after.

With that out of the way its so long final evening and hello September! Spring is rushing in and the glory of growth flurries with it.

Items planted and thus growing:

Spring onions Garlic
Potatoes (red yellow & purple)
Tomatoes (about 400-500)
Spinach & Lettuce (about 15 different types)
Butter Nut and Cup Squash
Courgette Broccoli Cauliflower Cabbage
Brussel Sprouts Broad Beans and Sweet Peas
Pak & Bok Choy Corn & Maze
Leeks Oregano Thyme Rhubarb & Artichoke

Not to Forget the Fruits!
Apples Quince Pares Plums Peaches
Apricots Feijoa Black Currants & Raspberries
Kiwis Lemons Tangerines Elder Berries and Gooseberries

And for the guaranteed likelihood of Vegetables forgotten and did not make the list I apologize to each of you. I am excited for your growth and maturity to be ripe and picked to sell or consume!

In a week of Daffodils and Spring showers the farm had an addition to daily life. Two of our Lambs became orphans as well a new fish joined the ranks of the tank. A mystery that is still unsolved to this day looms over the arrival of two lambs to the yard. With mom gone the mornings and evenings now carry the task of bottle feeding these youngsters. A job that I would never argue against has now lead to the sounds of calling Lambs as I walk past. As if I am to stop what I am doing and give em the nip. The fish tank gained a new valuable member and as I assured to the family a guaranteed contributor and work horse. I told my host mother Sarah that she needed to get a Plecostomus to help with the Algae situation in the tank. The following evening she asked me if I had met "Gregory" yet? To my surprise she did just as I had suggested and named him in my honor.

With the Dogs hiding my slippers from me, Cats bringing to me in my bed the birds they catch, and a Fish named after me I couldn't feel any more at home....


One evening as the sun went down
And the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking,
And he said, "Boys, I'm not turning
I'm headed for a land that's far away
Besides the crystal fountains
So come with me, we'll go and see
The Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
There's a land that's fair and bright,
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
Where the boxcars all are empty
And the sun shines every day
And the birds and the bees
And the cigarette trees
The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
All the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmers' trees are full of fruit
And the barns are full of hay
Oh I'm bound to go
Where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall
The winds don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
You never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol
Come trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats
And the railway bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew
And of whiskey too
You can paddle all around it
In a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
The jails are made of tin.
And you can walk right out again,
As soon as you are in.
There ain't no short-handled shovels,
No axes, saws nor picks,
I'm bound to stay
Where you sleep all day,
Where they hung the jerk
That invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.
....
I'll see you all this coming fall
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains